December 2014

You know, blogging never really has been my thing, but I keep doing it.  I loved writing in high school probably because it was creative writing, that's all that really was required.  It was my opinion, creatively explained.  And, I've always kept a journal, since I was little.  But, blogging is different from journaling or creative writing from a prompt.  Blogging is writing with the intent of someone else actually reading what I've written.  I don't anticipate my journals really to be read by anyone but me till after I'm long gone when one of my posterity says to themselves, "I wonder what Great-Great-Great Grandma Tahsha was like?" and that's when someone will read my story...my autobiography that I've started...and that's all I can really say about it - that I've started.

Rambling...I sound a little like Shantel.  So, blogging (attempt) about December 2014.

Well, another semester of nursing school down with one left to go.  Last semester I learned group projects are the bane of my existence.  Maybe a red personality monster trait takes over when I have to wait, impatiently, for the rest of the group to complete their assigned portion of the project...so I can change it the way it should have been done anyway (yeah...I need to work on being a better team player).

This month, I spent a few days at the gym...more to justify the fact that I'm paying for a gym membership each month than to actually get in shape.  I have to bring my own entertainment to the gym...thank you Netflix and my iPad.

And I worked. And worked.  I picked up a few extra shifts because we are short a nurse.  Not sure if the extra hours are good or bad...I'm still debating that one.  Some days I love my job and am so happy and grateful to be where I'm at and others days...the job hunt is on like there is no tomorrow.

There was also the ward christmas party - I was there 5 minutes to drop off my chili (Thank you Scott for the recipe!) - get tag teamed by the RS pres and the bishop (not sure how that happened, but all they wanted to ask me about was Grandma, which is fine) and then off on a date... 3 of 3 this year.  Can't say I have much of a social life at the moment, but I'm okay with that (well, sometimes I'm okay with that).  The date was fun, but let me just say...I'm sick of first dates that include bowling and/or miniature golf...please, can we do something more exciting and riveting than either of these two activities.

Grandma was in the hospital 2 nights...CHF exacerbation and a UTI.  Wasn't fun for either of us.  Grandma got to feeling better by the time of discharge, but I think I developed a small ulcer and a nasty fever blister that just barely went away (fever blisters only rear their ugly head when I'm worn down, stressed out and my immunity is shot and that's exactly how I felt, shot).

There was Mom and Dad's 30th wedding anniversary.  The past year, in my mind, I had planned a huge, fantastic party for them...however it never materialized, and that was probably all my fault.  Good intentions that never came through.

There was also The Corinne Fire Department party that I missed because of work.  Caught the tail end of it to find out I'm a Captain again for another year...which means another year of planning EMS drills.  It's definitely something I enjoy doing, it's just time consuming.  Esp since I want my drills to be worthwhile and well prepared.

Mom's birthday, Dec 23.  This was a good day.  Most everyone was home, everyone got along.  There was cake and candles, laughing and good times.

Christmas eve...night shift.  The majority of my shifts are now nights.  The first 8 hours of this shift were great.  Couldn't complain.  I even let my help go home at 2 am so she could be there when her little ones (1 1/2 and 3 year old) got up for Christmas morning.  The last 4 hours of my shift were an absolute nightmare.  Don't even know where to begin with it, so I won't.  I ended up having to stay an hour late, missed Nicole's skype call and felt shafted nobody called to see if I was still coming or even okay (since a storm storm had hit that night/morning).  Malad, held Brayden for a bit and talked with Shelana, which was good ... and then a wave a tiredness hit ... I knew I had to leave soon if there was any chance of me making it back to Grandma's safely.  I finally laid down on the couch at Grandma's about noon, having now been awake for more than 24 hours (and mind you, the couch really isn't that comfortable).  Four hours later I woke with a start.  I knew everyone would be here soon (I just didn't expect everyone to actually be on time and come at the same time, but they did).  It was at this point, it seemed everyone wanted everything right then, right at that moment and I, honestly, with my lack of sleep and patience at that moment, didn't handle it very well.  The responsibility to care for Grandma is enough without adding extra chores to it.

But thank you Shantel for spending the night, being my therapist and for just listening to me.  At that point, that is what I needed the most.  Just someone to listen.  Thank you.  (Dec 26) And we bought plane tickets to visit Ohio in June!  

Dec 27 - Ashton's birthday.  I had work, so I missed the party, but I hope he had a good day!

Dec 31 - New Year's Eve - after helping grandma into bed around 8 pm or so, I headed to Malad.  I held Brayden most of the time.  What a cute little chunk that kid is!  And entertainment was provided by Rylee, Hailey and Emery.  Not sure I want those three to get too much bigger.  They are a lot of fun just they way they are now.  We brought in 2015 by signing up for a 5k run in Logan on 5.23.15 - the color vibe (we being myself, Shelana, Heather, Shantel and Krystal).  Now, to get training!  And we also started a new challenge - the no pop challenge.  Pretty sure I'm going to win it by going the longest without drinking pop.  

January 2 - today.  I finished reading the Princess Bride at about 3 am.  Fell asleep about 5 am and slept till about 1 pm (working nocs sure does mess up one's sleeping pattern).  I attended the last session offered in the Brigham temple tonight.  I had a lot of thoughts going through my mind while at the temple tonight.  Mentally I'm exhausted from all the racing thoughts - a plethora of goals, ambitions, dreams I want to accomplish...some of them perhaps too lofty and not achievable (at least not achievable in the near future).  However, overall, I felt at peace, I felt to keep trying and never give up, to learn by my own experience.

The author of the abridgment of the Princess Bride, Goldman, wrote "...for the umpty-umpth time, that life isn't fair..."  and that's what he felt Morgenstern wanted to convey from the Princess Bride, this message: life simply isn't fair.  Perhaps that is one message one can glean from the various stories within the one.  But for me, it was Westley's attitude, his persistence, his optimism that caught my attention.  Even while in the Zoo of Death with the Machine sucking his life away, Westley never gave up.  He kept in his mind's eye his goal no matter what challenge faced him (Maybe someday I'll marry someone like Westley...one of those lofty goals perhaps)          

Likewise, the Savior never did shrink (D&C 19:18).  He never gave up.  Ultimately, this is my goal too and especially as I consider my goals for 2015.  To never shrink, to never give up.  To face the challenges before me with faith in the Savior, with optimism, with persistence, with diligence, with hope.